So, What Are You Going To Do Next?

I love it up here…up here in the mountains. Not surprisingly, it’s my third visit to the Junfrau Region in the Swiss Alps in just over a year. I think it’s because I feel I really get away from the rest of the world for a little while, and get a little closer to peace. Nothing wrong with the rest of the world. After all, life is really just colored by our perceptions, but those can often be altered when you catch yourself living on autopilot from time to time…meanwhile easily ignoring some of the things you’re not in love with about your life. Yeah, autopilot has altered my perception a bit, and I guess when I come here, I can refocus. Being here really gives me time to exhale everything that‘s been on my mind, and time to take in the beautiful, present moment. Hiking alone through these mountains, where all you have is perfect nature and an occasional neutral Swiss flag, makes that easy to do. It also reminds me that anything is possible…including sights like these which I was certain could only have existed in my dreams.

One of the things I’ve been thinking about, which I feel I’ve been a little forced to think about is: What am I going to do next? Since I quit my job at the end of August, a lot of people have asked me this, and I understand because I have found myself asking others the same question when they’ve turned the page ending one of their own chapters. Of course we all want to know: “What’s gonna happen next?”…I guess maybe if it’s an interesting book (side note).

A couple things come to mind in just thinking about that big question. The most apparent is: I‘m not really sure what job I want next, and fortunately I don’t really need to know right now.  I just left a company, yes a great company, but a company in which I felt so much pressure to have a clear answer to that question. “What are we going to develop you toward Robert?“ And what was meant by that was: What do you see yourself doing in this company 10 years from now? Yikes. That’s a long time…of course as I get older, I realize it’s likely going to go by very fast. But, when you ask a twenty-something year old: what do you want to be doing in a job 10 years from now, a very common answer is “hmm, I’m not sure.” And while people like me and many others who are a part of my generation can say that with confidence, it can make others cringe a little.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great to plan. In fact, having a job in corporate America since I graduated college 7 years ago has made me a much better planner, and I like that. But, lets be honest. Plans change. We begin or end, for that matter, important relationships. We have semi-unexpected children. People who mean a great deal to us die. Books and movies we’ve read and seen change our lives. We even have inspiring conversations with people we just met. All of these have happened to me, except for the unexpected children…I think. All of these and more also push us to consider whether or not we’re REALLY doing what we think we should be in our lives. Consequently, this might lead us to change course.

Clearly this notion of what should I do next, and how should I make a change happens to everyone. But in my opinion generally speaking, for Baby Boomers (DOB roughly 1946-1964) it probably doesn‘t happen as much, and if it does they‘re less likely to make a move because there is more value on sticking it out and being loyal to commitments and others. Generation X’ers (DOB roughly 1961-1981): this definitely happens from time to time, and they‘re more likely to make a move for themselves. And for Generation Y (DOB roughly 1982-2000) well, the thought of making a change may happen every other day, and their sense of loyalty may be more focused on themselves and their sense of purpose. I happen to fall right on the cusp of Generation X and Y, so naturally I fall in the middle.

So, plans change for people like me. Furthermore, I don’t value doing one job, being at one company, or even staying within one industry for my whole life. It’s not for me. No, I have far too many interests for that, which I won't apologize for. I value having many different work/life experiences. I actually value the unknown, and plans that change. This keeps life interesting for me. So while the thought of leaving a stable, good-paying job at a respectable company for the unknown may scare the shit of some people, I get inspired by it. Why not? Just yesterday I read a short article about a friend and former colleague who has been a mentor to me, Anna Phelps. http://www.scrippscollege.edu/news/feature-stories/the-value-of-the-sport  Without speaking for her, she also quit her corporate job a few years ago, and has done a number of things since then including these that I know of: owning and blowing up a cookie business of all things in Portland, taking time off to travel, teaching, and coaching water polo. It was the latter which she‘s always been passionate about, as I understand it, that just led her to the head coach position for the women’s water polo team at Virgina Military Institute, a member of the NCAA Division I and Big South Conference. Wow. Sure, it would have been easy to stay where she was a few years ago…because our company LOVED Anna, but she had other plans. I like that. Yeah, I think I’ll try to keep her as a mentor. She’s definitely living a life that’s in line with my kind of values.

So, what am I going to do next? Well, I’m going to love every moment of my time here in the Alps over the next 10 days. Then, I’m going to go home to Clarkston, Michigan to spend some real quality time with my boyfriend, Grey, our bulldog, Charlie, and my awesome family. Then, I plan to dedicate the next couple months to riding my new road bike and running, practicing yoga, reading, writing, and helping Grey with his awesome pie business, Pie Hero (which I was just informed will be written about in the Indianapolis Star, Indy’s primary newspaper. I‘m very proud of him for successfully pursuing his own inspired path).

Then in January, I will start to figure out what‘s next. Right now here are some of the ideas I have: pursuing a masters degree in sociology to eventually be a professor, real estate, and starting my own business that serves a great social cause. Having said that, lets not forget that among other things, I’m a product of my generation…so I may just change my mind.

I AMsterdam

Today I'm heading back to Europe for a month.  First stop...Amsterdam.  This is a special stop.  The first time I went to Europe was three years ago, and this was the city I landed in.  It happened to be one of my favorites.  Perhaps because it was the first few days of my very first European experience, but maybe it was because it was very similar to the awesome city I lived in at the time- Portland, Oregon.  They're both made up of dynamic free thinkers who are environmentally friendly.  Not surprisingly, the most bike friendly city in the world?  Amsterdam.  Second most bike friendly city in the world?  Yes, Portland. Maybe that was it. 

But there was something more that stung and stuck with me about Amsterdam.  It was the history.  Van Gogh and Rijksmuseum were beautiful.  The Van Gogh museum was the first one I had ever gone to and taken the guided tour.  It talked and walked me through his work and life.  I remember seeing how his artwork changed over the course of his life  I loved hearing about his journey, and realizing how such a simple and unassuming man could leave such a big impression on the world after his death...so yeah, the history and museums were a part of it.  But if I'm honest, what stung the most about Amsterdam was the Anne Frank House. Yes, that had the biggest impact on me.

The Anne Frank House is in West Amsterdam about 2 blocks from Hotel Toren, where I stayed.  I remember seeing it from the outside and thinking "so this is where it all went down".  It's fascinating to actually see something that you remember learning about in school.  For whatever reason, learning about most of history in school was almost like someone was just telling me a story.  Although I knew it was true, I didn't really feel it was because it felt long ago and far away.  The Holocaust and story of Anne Frank I read in Mrs. Glover's 7th grade class became something that actually happened 3 years ago when I saw the house and attic where Anne Frank went into hiding for over 2 years.

Standing there in Anne Frank's attic, I remember refacing all that I learned about the Holocaust when I was in junior high.  Mostly, that the Jews were oppressed, and many sent off to concentration camps where about 6 million of them spent the last days of their lives.  And although to a much less extent, where homosexuals were also targeted by the Nazis, including the thousands who died in concentration camps. 

That day in September of 2007 on my visit to the Anne Frank House and later The Homomonument http://home.wanadoo.nl/inspiritus/Homomonument.htm it occurred to me for the first time that had I been around Europe in the late 30's or early 40's, I too would have been oppressed.  There's a strong chance I would have been just categorized as a homosexual and given a pink triangle to wear "identifying" myself before being forced off to a concentration camp. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink_triangle  This realization was heavy.  It's unfortunate that sometimes things have to become so personal before we can  realize their significance. Whatever it took, what's important is that I left Amsterdam with a better understanding that these events did take place, they negatively impacted millions of innocent people, and that I am privileged to have not lived through it.  Anne Frank and her family were seen and defined just as Jews, and punished for it.  She was in hiding for over 2 years, then arrested and off to Auschwitz and other concentration camps where she was eventually killed.

I later went to Auschwitz in Poland in February of 2009, and saw the horrific place for myself.  Yes, these camps also became something that really happened.  Believe it or not, I  left both Amsterdam and Auschwitz with a stronger sense of self. It reaffirmed that although being gay was a great and important part of me, it didn't fully define me.  I am so many, so many other things. 

I also came to understand that many individuals have been persecuted through out history and still are today because of who they are at the core, the way they were born, or what they believe in.  I've realized that it's my duty to stand up for those people in every instance, and not just because I am one of those people.  It's because many will never know first hand what it's like to be oppressed simply because they're privileged to be in the majority- whether they're male, white, Christian, heterosexual, or others.  

Traveling has certainly taught me a lot, and I'm grateful for these important experiences.  Amsterdam is one of the best cities, and I look forward to going back.  That being said, I've got a plane to catch.